Society holds a strong yet tenuous grip on each of us. We’re told from childhood to conform, to be like everyone else, to follow the leader. We’re taught to share and be selfless in kindergarten but encouraged to hoard and protect our knowledge, our things, our friends and partners as adults for fear of losing what we have to someone else.
We settle for low(ered) expectations, small dreams, and the gift of never ending, monotonous, flight between the sea and the sky. Dive too deep and we drown in our passion, fly too high and we’re burned by our self belief.
Honesty is a virtue, or so it’s said. But people don’t really want honesty, they want to hear what they need to hear. Reality is. Nothing more, nothing less. But the fantasy of what could be is so much more enticing. And the truth is something no one is willing to face. We wake up and put on whatever mask helps us fit in for the rest of the day. We come home and go through the motions of being “involved” with our friends and family. “How are you, how was your day?” No one really cares, they’re just saying what’s expected. “Fine.” is not an answer but we accept it, every day.
Most of us live in a white padded comfort zone, though the door is open, we’re afraid to breach the threshold because what’s out there isn’t what’s in here. We don’t need physical boundaries, we create our own electric fence, recoiling instantly if we so much as glance to the fields beyond.
We’re told as children that we can be anything we want to be, and we believe it. But if we all turned into what we wanted to be as children the world would be filled with firefighters, princesses, and ninjas. And a few cowboys for good measure. Instead, we’re responsible adults that go about our lives checking off each square on the board game: school, check, dating, check, car, check, debt, check, marriage, check, children, check, …
We embrace authority and compliance. The wet blanket that holds us down and makes us sick with chills, comforts us like a swaddled baby. We’re obedient and invisible in our uniqueness.
And every so often someone new comes along and touches your life in such a way that makes you remember that there is something more. They are blind to the boundaries and deaf to the hush hush of the naysayers. They leap with anticipation at new experiences because what’s behind that door is irrelevant, it’s opening the door that matters.
But fear holds you back from experiencing the new, the dangerous, the unknown. What if you pick the wrong door? What if you pick the wrong person to be with? The wrong career? What if?
What if that wrong person helps you bring an amazing person into the world? Or introduces you to the right person? What if that career opens you to a whole new world that you never knew existed and ignites a fierce passion and you change someone’s life? What if?
I’m fortunate to be able to live my life in the moment. I’ve done things most people could never fathom simply because I thought — and acted upon — “What if?” I’ve done amazing things, I’ve seen mind blowing events, I’ve met some of the most brilliant and interesting people because I know that what if leads to incredible experiences.
If you wait for perfection in anything — you will die waiting. There is no perfect time to do anything. There is no perfect someone. There is no perfect moment. There’s just now. And whatever decision you make right now is the exact right decision for you to make … if it weren’t, you’d have made a different decision. But know that it’s never too late to change your mind.
Putting yourself out into the world is dangerous. You’re venturing out of your cave and into the wilderness where hunters abound, predators stalk you endlessly, and there are trip wires and traps just waiting for you. I’ve been ensnared, I’ve been shot, I’ve been hunted down and beat close to death. And I’ve recoiled and returned to my cave to recuperate and regenerate. But I always go back out. With a little more knowledge, lessons learned, and with the words of those around me swirling in my head. I’ve traced my steps and made new paths, each leading to a new awe inspiring destination.
For better or worse your life is exactly as it is. It’s up to you to open your own door. To step outside. To welcome chance into your home and ask it to stay awhile. Let it share the settee with curiosity and creativity. See where their world takes you.
Learn how to swim so you don’t drown and learn how to put out the flames without dousing the fire within.
Growth can only happen through the discomfort of the unknowing. Breaking through your shell to go toward a light you can’t see but know must be there, somewhere, is an arduous and often thankless task and few go beyond the brush. Take the chance and along the way, put down a few roots here and there, just in case someone decides to try to stop your journey. And they will. When they do, let the scar form so you remember what not to do, and move on.
Perhaps we’ll meet along the way.
